Dear Dr. Simcha,
I’m from the TikTok generation and I really struggle to focus on work because of social media. Even in meetings, my mind tends to wander, and working from home is especially tough. Do you have any tips to overcome this addiction?
It’s great that you recognize this issue and are looking for a solution. Nowadays, it’s very common to seek quick distractions, and the sheer amount of content available only makes this far too easy.
Let’s break down the problem: When you’re working on a task that requires focus (like reading this blog for instance), uncomfortable feelings such as restlessness, boredom, fatigue or frustration, can easily occur. Naturally, your brain will look for ways to escape these feelings. Social media provides a quick dopamine hit – which is a chemical that makes you feel good. While some people grab their phones for this instant gratification, there are also many other distractions like eating, smoking, shopping, or drinking.
Your brain tends to seek out distractions when faced with discomfort. Therefore, it’s important to train your mind to resist these urges. Here are some strategies to help (note: these are not quick fixes!).
Download One Sec – While it may seem like a quick fix, this app can be a valuable first step. It blocks access to certain apps, forcing you to pause and take a deep breath before using them.
Breathing Exercises – Speaking of taking a deep breath, this is an excellent way to quickly calm yourself and make more thoughtful decisions. If you’re feeling overwhelmed at work, try placing your hands on your belly and breathing into it: inhale for 4 seconds, exhale for 6 seconds.
Journaling – Keep a small notebook by your desk or in your bag. Whenever you feel the urge to grab your phone, and after doing your breathing exercises, jot down why you’re seeking a distraction. This can look like: ‘I’m working on an Excel sheet that’s really challenging and I feel overwhelmed’ or ‘I need to deal with an unpleasant email and it’s causing me stress.’ But it can even be personal, like: ‘I had an argument with my partner this morning and feel guilty.’
Pomodoro Technique – This method involves working in intervals: 25 minutes of work or study followed by a 5-minute break, then another 25 minutes of work or study and another 5-minute break. After 3 or 4 of these intervals, you can take a longer break. You could use software on your computer or a timer for this. Preferably one that doesn’t constantly make ticking noises!
Eye Contact and Asking Questions – If you find yourself feeling uncomfortable or bored in social situations (like meetings), practice making eye contact with others. If you zone out during a conversation, don’t hesitate to ask someone to repeat what they just said. The more you practice this, the better you’ll become at active listening.
Meditation – This might be the most challenging step for those who get easily distracted. Meditation is something you gradually build up to increase your awareness of daily actions. Try sitting quietly on the floor or on a cushion before bed and meditating. There are plenty of online resources to guide you, but a simple method is to leave your phone in another room, focus on your breathing (without trying to change it), notice how your body feels, and observe the thoughts that come up.
Breaking these habits requires time and attention. Some days will be easier than others, but the more you work on overcoming distractions (whether it’s social media or something else), the better you’ll become at building self-control in the long run.
We’re in it for the long haul, not the quick fixes!
Dr. Simcha
