Dear Dr. Simcha,
I just moved to Leiden for my studies, and while I’m excited to be here, I’m struggling a bit with making connections. I don’t really click with the people in my course, and I’m finding it tough to meet new people outside of classes. Especially since I don’t speak Dutch, which I feel makes it harder. It’s only been a little while, but I’m already feeling pretty isolated, and I’m not sure where to start. Do you have any advice on how to meet people and make some real connections?
I totally get how overwhelming it can be, especially when you’re trying to find your footing in a new place and navigating a different language. It takes a lot of courage to move to a new city, whether you’re an international student, an expat, or even a Dutch person relocating for your studies.
Here are some tips that might make the transition a bit easier:
- Join Group Activities: Whether you’re into sports like handball, dancing, or hockey, or you prefer creative hobbies like pottery, photography, or writing, there are tons of opportunities to meet like-minded people through shared interests. Even a language class can be a great way to meet others who are in a similar situation!
- Explore Jewish Organizations: Jewish organizations like Chabad on Campus, but also IJAR or FREYDA often host events and activities that can help you connect with fellow Jews in the community. Keep an eye on their event calendars—it’s a fantastic way to meet people who share your background.
- Try Apps Like Bumble BFF or MeetUp: Don’t underestimate the power of apps! Platforms like Bumble BFF and MeetUp aren’t just for dating—they’re great for finding friends too. It can feel a bit intimidating at first, but meeting someone for coffee or a casual drink could lead to some amazing connections. Many people have formed solid friend groups this way.
Once you’ve met a few people, the next challenge is building lasting connections. This part can be tricky—we’ve all been there!
- Organize Group Activities: After identifying a few people you really click with, consider organizing group activities. It’s a great way to strengthen those new connections. If you all enjoy music, why not plan to go to a concert, festival, or jam session? Into films? Find a movie to watch together. Love brunch? Plan a Sunday picnic in the park. You could even explore different parts of the Netherlands together with a city trip.
- Be Patient and Invest in Friendships: Building meaningful friendships takes time and effort, especially when you’re balancing studies or work. But remember, it’s worth the investment. Those connections will grow stronger, and before you know it, you’ll have a solid circle of friends to share your experiences with.
It’s all about stepping out of your comfort zone, being open to new experiences, and giving yourself the time to form those connections. You’ve already taken the hardest step by putting yourself out there.
Wishing you all the best in your new adventure!
Dr. Simcha
